How to cope with loss


Time and time again we are forced to jump through hurdles and face the bitter truth: that we just lost something that is unreplaceable: a relative, a friend, a lover, a place, a state of being. It can be either physical death or the death of a feeling, it doesn’t really matter. The end result is the same: a pounding in our chests, a pain that we can’t just shake off and sometimes a certainty that things will never change and that we will always be miserable and unhappy.

If you are going through something among like these lines right now all I want you to know is that you’re not alone. I get you. In fact, most people with the heart in its rightful place, do. It’s hard and it may get worse before it gets any better but this too shall pass. Just hold tight, keep your chin up and carry on.

I’ve been there. In some ways, I’m there still. That empty nagging feeling telling us we are not good enough and will never amount to anything. That insecurity about our capacities. We keep downplaying our achievements turning them into nothing because the truth is we think we need to be fixed. By someone, by destiny, be life.

You are already worthy and whole in our skin. You deserve to reach your goals. You deserve to be loved. Your soul may be hurting, and you may feel like you lost too much to ever recover but you will. Like you always do. Like a phoenix, you’ll fly from the ashes reborn. Remade. Maybe the loss is only there to teach you a lesson: that you too can grow and transcend.

Paula Gouveia