Being a woman


Yesterday was International Women’s Day, a date that arised from the necessity of implementing equal rights  such as the female vote. How much has changed and not changed during this time? Biogically we know men and women are wired differently and tend to be raised and treated also differently in social environments.

Should we expect to be able to correct salary gaps and blatant sexism ideology in the short or even medium term? It’s common place to say our world is still patriachal, that aggressive energy is male and passive energy is female. What can do we do about it?

The society sends us confusing messages. Our mothers say what matters is to have nice values and principles. Our instagram feeds says what is valuable is how we look like and how desirable our body seems. It’s paradoxes we go through ourselves. As human beings are visual creatures, we tend to pick what appeals the most aesthetically, even if it’s just to realize the content is subpar. As a former colleague of mine once said when we were shopping “If I didn’t like this package would I buy this product? Probably not”.

So as women we tend to look for that whole package in work, in our personal goals and dreams and virtually anything you come across. Often times, we are taught to look for those qualities in a man. For every self love or miss independent song, there’s must be at least a thousand about loving someone else or missing that person. Which is not wrong in principle but sometimes when you give so much away, you end up losing your center and not making space to give to yourself.

So when a woman finds herself we can say she is empowered and when that happens, at least one change in the world is garanteed: her own. We hear about female objectification all the time and what it means to be or not a feminist. It’s not about the lenght of the skin you show, it’s about being attuned with the rhythm of your own drum, your self perception.

We can’t tear apart a woman for what she chooses to wear if that’s part of her self expression. And most of all, we shouldn’t. Because every one of us go through their own journeys and processes and should be uplifted or at least taken care in thoughts and not be a victim or judgement, envy or hate. Because at the end of the day we are all human. We are all sisters.


Paula Gouveia

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